beauty is in the eye of the beholder

10:38 AM

Saturday, December 27, 2008

{superhuman heart beats in me}

okayy. swensens yesterday with WHOOOOLE family. it was fun. seriously, even though i dont talk much, maybe at all even, hahaha, its just nice to listen and analyse them all.

so todayy, gg off to sofitel or wtv at johoreeee with family, nunu's family and smart boy's (aamar's) family. baby sarah and baby adam's first get away together! hahaha. so cute.

and yes, results are coming velyvely soon. its scaring the shitzx out of me.

did you know tammy called me and irritating rat? *GASP*

lets see who the unlucky person is, the one who will make me catch that stupid bug again. for now, the coast is clear.

i have my friends, and that is all i ever care about. you are not my friend, cz you refuse to see me as one. too bad for you then. i can live without you. so i dont care. YUP, i dont care. so sorry for breaking your little *****.

rembaters, you all are my life. =D

10:08 AM

Thursday, December 25, 2008

{its not what seem}

the last post wasnt by me. hahaha, guess who lah.

and the hate tags, HAHAHA, was by people whom i know of. hehehe, nw it seems so stupid.

byeee. gg johore to meet granny. toodles.

12:00 AM

helllooooo worlddd!!! life has been awesomee with my friends arnd especially peepz like pis-ang!

anwz, im like totally sickkk. i neeed you with me now! yes youuuu! (=(=

5:14 PM

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

{let it snow, let it go}

ive been watching greys anatomy. its amazing to see how fragile life is. you never know when you would end up on the hospital bed where your life in in the hands of strangers who would cut your body up.

its also hard to be the bitch who has to take up the role of the bad guy. as much as i tried to make my heart as tough and hard as possible, words just seemed to make it all tender and soft.

"i will not let myself do it."

i must be a freak to have stopped myself from being showered with love but what can i do? what can i do? i woke up from my sweetest dream and even i try my best to sleep again, i will not get that same dream again.

so please. work with me.

10:23 PM

Monday, December 22, 2008

{i wana turn back the hands of the clock so badly that i forgot to admire the beauty around me}

the wedding is over. it is much less tiring than the previous wedding. hahaha, maybe cz all i did was slack around with dear crazy people the whole day.

it felt so great to have family all around. i introduced almost all of them to the other 4. hahaha, so many nicknames given. i had fun. seriously. THANK YOU BANYAKBYANYAK for coming deaaaarrrssss. hahaha. =)

and, it felt weird at first seeing my sister up on the pelamin. its like, i have always hung around her during weddings and now shes up there. the nght before, that gundupok had to make me cry. shit, im crying again now. HAHAHA, the same thing happened when i tried telling the awesome foursome what she said. tsssskkk.

and i finally slept alone yesterday. i had the lights on still, HAHAHA, but whatever, i survived till morning ok. i was so glad when i woke up and its already 6 sth. means i can off the lights and reallyreally sleep peacefully. i think too much lahhh. hehehe.

ok, i have many more things to say, but i just cnt find the strength too. maybe cz the pictures are nt with meeee. nvm, 2moro horr.

i cant wait for you to be back. i wana talktalktalk to you.

and sorry if i hvnt been replying msgs. i dnt think i have to explain why. toodles.

11:14 AM

Thursday, December 18, 2008

{its in full swing now}

ohmygahhh, the wedding is killing me.

i have blood all over my fingers. reason, manicure and cutting of bawang. BLOODY PAIN LAH SIAAA.

so tonytezzz, gonna have peeps over yo. house gonna be full. damnnnn. hahahaaa, i cant wait to get my dosage of the rembaters later on. only problem here, jellybeaaaan, why you missing? ARE YOU ALIVEEE? I NEED YOUUU!

hahaha, ok, so bro gonna drive us around to get things done today. YIPPEE! that doesnt happen often yknw. weddings do bring families closer. YAY!

ok, adam is getting cuter and cuter nowadays. i just feel like stomping on him cz hes tooo cute! hahaha.

and my deardear cuzzie is in NS now. AWW.

ok bye. gtg nowwww.
=)

6:15 PM

Monday, December 15, 2008

{oh my god}

HELLOOO! ok ok ok, i spent the whole day yesterday doing up this blogskin. so I WILL SAY IT PROUDLY. I LOVE MY BLOGSKIN. hahahaha. ok, moving on.

life has been AWE-SOME so far. lemme see what happened.

FRIDAY - 12 DEC.

i went for a full body massage and spa with both my sisters at marina sq in conjunction with my sisters' birthdayyyy. i was aweeed at the prettypretty place BUT OH MY FUGGING GAWD. it was so damn PAINFUL. the bloody nyonya (TALKING ABOUT NYONYA, LITTLE NYONYA ROCKS!) was like venting her anger on my body. dah lah expose my body. wah sey, she was obviously jealous of my bodyy. hahahaha, ok no. perasaan moment.

then there was the jacuzzi, both my sis went in with only their tissue g-string but i was toooooooooo modest and hence, i went in with the whoole bath robe on. hahaha, it was funny.

SATURDAY- 13th dec.

i went out early in the morning to go madrasah to collect my results. wah, i am so amazed that i actually passed. who the hell studies for madrasah? i dont give a damn anymore. the exams are abit stupid. hahaha. veryy funnaye.

then nashaaa and me HAD A DAAATE! woohooo! we painted orchard red mannz! hahaha. check it out. OH! SHE BRAIDED HER HAIR LAH SIAAA!

ok, we had the timer on. while waiting, nasha couldnt stop laughing and when it finally clicked, i looked like this. HAHAHA.

then we had a dance off at mango.

BOUGHT THAT TOP.

WE WERE DAAAMN HUNGRY.

omgggg, i love this dress to the maxxx!

ok, then nasha had to go home soooo, i met amirah for dinner. treated her to dinner at SWENSENS'. wheepee!

all in all, i had a wonderful saturday. one of the best i ever had! =)

ok, this week's gonna be a busy one. the rembaters are coming down on thursdayy. gotta put my inai on, WAH, tomorrow sis mum and me have facial date.. need to do up the berkat, need to clean up my room. WAAAH, so many things to do. zomg.

ok ok, i gots to go now. all i can say is, i love gg out with my friends. hahaha.

and if you should know, i will be here for you no matter what.

9:06 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008

{WHEEPEE!}

ok, im too tired to update. ahahaha.

besokbesok.

...'if you want to know how much i miss you, try to catch rain drops. the ones you catch is how much you miss me, and those you miss is how much i miss you'...

7:13 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
- definitely.
Do you ever feel out of place?
- besides every single moment of my life, no.
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
- tell me about it.
Do you ever wanna runaway?
- like right now.
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
-that would be possible if i HAVE my own room. kanasai.

No you don't know what it's like
- yeah bitch, you have no idea.
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
- welcome.

Do you wanna be somebody else?
- can i please?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
- totally.
Are you desperate to find something more?
- call me despo, yeah.
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
- arrrrghhh.
Are you sick of everyone around?
- not everyone, just one particular one. stupid.
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
- HAH. bitch.
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think
I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

why cant you let me live normally like any other teenagers? you suck. big time.

if god can grant me just one wish, i would wish for her to be more open and understanding. you really suck you know that? must you control me so much? why woman why? what did i do wrong? stupid.

and to you, i am so sorry.

8:52 PM

Monday, December 08, 2008

{plead with me}

ok, i have manymany things to say.

but i seriously have no time.

i shall make it short.

ECP WAS HELL YEAH. my butt still hurt from cycling. hahaha, lucky me, i went home without any wounds unlike alviNIA and cz. hehehehe. had fun, had lotsa fun.

KAMBING TODAY STINKSSS. i mean it, they stink. STINK STINK STINK. but nvmm, my daddy CUTTED three KAMBINGS. can you believe it? hahaha.

i am gg mad. i wana eat my mummy's sambal tumis sotong, BUT ITS FUGGING SPICY. like i mean it, after one hour my tongue still hurts.

I CANT WAAAAAAAIT. for fridaay. i think. hahaha, i have not been taking note of the time nor the days nor the dates. i take life as it is.

WOOHOO. im freeeeee! most prolly ah, mummy and daddy gg back to KL.

OK, LITTLE NYONYA IS ON. see, i totally forgot abt it. GOTS TO GO BIATCH! =)

8:27 AM

{face down in the dirt}

hello mello! HAHAHA. hafiza said that. goooody, my daddy came back from KL and you know what he said?! "FRUS TONGENG!". ohmygod. that is as good as comitting suicide. the power of influence. maybe he will start using sia too. hahaha. ermm, eeeks.

so yeah, i have soooo many things to say but soooo little tiime. right now, i am all basi in my spec course tee and cedar shorts amd hair like baru kena tornado = baru bangon tido.

have to bathebathe cz i gg to see mua sheeps! AAAAAAH! i like to see the kambings kena catch! but i smhow dont like the cutcut part although i will kepokepo go look.

i shall wear my balck baju kurung to show a slight sense of mourning. hahaha.

ok, my mom is being a ***. hahaha. gots to go.

10:27 AM

Friday, December 05, 2008

{give it up}

oh my, this is gonna be basi. hahaha, but ME ELLE AND HAFIZA met up on wetnessday.

met elle at bugis, mengumpat and walked to banquet to wait for pisang. we ordered ikan dan murah. (fish and cheap a.k.a chip). it was hugo-monguos lah!

then we went to the bugis street, and decided only certain kind of people would shop there. tried to find shades but pfft, nth fits. we took train to city hall and went to penin but once agaain, pfft, nth nice.

then we walkwalk at robinsons, went to many topshops and river island and finally decided to go to marina squareee. we decided to wait for the comfycomfy seats at starbucks so we went shopping first.

hahaha, at john kecik. got mua shades and PAM gave me shorts. hahaha, my fashion consultants came up with a whoooole range of shorts which included hawaiian, and AXHJEM-ian and finally PAM was the one i chose.

rilekrilek at the changing room and pretended to still be trying on things as we sat on the floor. hahaha, damn funny.

thenthen, we ran into sgt cheryl and then we had starbuckss, 3-4-1. ahahha. dont get it nvmmm.

we then pretended to be on a prom shopping, NOTE PRETENDED! hmph. and yeahh, me and wellie got this hothot tubeytube dress she blue i black. all the picts with HERRR. it was expensive. hahaha.

then we went shoe try-ons. pazzion was being a darling. hot shoesss!

aha, then we made our way to the other starbucls at one fullerton complaining that it was the UGLY season cz nth seems nice enough to buy. had corncup along the way. i am addictied. shit.

had starbucks again and WHOOPEEE, it was me favourite white mocha frappucino. i want it noooooowwwwwwwwwww.

ok, thats it. we were so glad to see the sky dark. hahaha, YAY, we have a lifeeee! hehehe.

aites, many things to be done today. cnt wait to cycle and bowl tomorrow. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! time quickly fly can?

and i cnt believe im saying this, but yesterday morning i actually woke up and wanted to find my history and geog textbook to start studying. si-tu-pit.

my sisters wedding is cming. whoopee? i donoe. haiyo.

enough sighing. i think i am very sleepy. this is the worst post i ever did in my life. its so boring, did you even bother reading? tsk. im too sick to even post properly.

oh, other parts are having chalet. no surprise heh. bye.

8:35 PM

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

thats it, marlia is dead.

i love flowers. roses. thank you so much.

i cant wait to get out of this house tomorrow.

GOD DAMN IT, i am so gg this saturday.

hahaha. ok, gots to go.

TOODLES.

iloveyou.

11:27 AM

Monday, December 01, 2008

{is it over yet?}

omg, is it december already? holy shites.

allryte, i need to keep the fun time rolling in.

shopping with rembaters on weddy. most prolly.

ecp-ing/picnic-ing/cycling-ing on saturday with instructors. I CANT WAIT.

hmmmm, HAHAHA. a sure shopping date with amirah after she comes back from aussie, a fun day out with madrasah people extremely soon.

im sorry for refusing so many dates so far. need to please her majesty you see. and pfft, i wana do many things. wait, i will do many things. heehee.

IWANASHOPMYASSOFF. YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

first, smbody shut her up.

ohno, im missing you.